I don't want to fall in love again
by Voodoo Kisses
Summary: Alicia is back. Can she forgive Jeff? Will love blossom again? SEQUEL TO I HATE THIS PART Jeff Hardy/OC
1. Chapter 1

'**Well, I asked her what she was doing there, she said I knew what she was doing there and when was I gonna admit to myself I wanted her. I turned to walk away, to find you and she got up and grabbed my arm, she spun me round and looked into my eyes. And then......then she.....' He paused**

'**For FUCK SAKE JEFF, just goddamn tell me!' Alicia screamed, causing a few tuts of disapproval from other drinkers.**

'**Okay....okay....she kissed me and I swear I tried to pull away I really did Ali, but then I stopped pulling away....' He trailed off. Alicia heard all she needed to hear. **

**She got up from the bar stool and without looking back at him walked out of the bar, out of the WWE and out of his life....**

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**SEQUEL TO I HATE THIS PART**

**Okay, so 8 months have passed since Alicia walked out of Jeff's life and she has decided its time to pull herself together and try and get her job back, she worked too hard to give up her dream of working for the WWE.... Will it be as easy to return as she hoped?**

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This has been deleted and re-posted as the chapters were all screwed and in wrong order!

I only own OC

Reviews welcome. Constructive only please, don't be a dick about it

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She sat staring at the phone in her hand. This was it, now or never, she had to make the call. Her fingers shook as she pressed the buttons, she knew the number like the back of her hand, mind you so she should she had dialled it numerous times in the past couple of months, just hadn't had the courage to push the call button.

It rang once.

Twice.

Three times.

Just as she was about to hang up, they picked up.

'Good afternoon Vince McMahons office, Jessica speaking how can I help you today?' Came the voice from the other end.

'Jess....its me.' Replied Alicia.

'Oh wow, Ali? Is that really you? How are you babes?' said Jessica, reverting back to her normal way of talk rather than the voice she had to put on at work, Alicia could hear her chewing gum, imagining her blowing bubbles with her feet up on the desk, just like she used to.

'I'm doing ok, I think.....No actually I am ok, I'm good.' Alicia swore Jess knew she was lying.

'Hmmmmm well if your sure chick, what's the phone call for then, we haven't seen you or even heard from you since......' Jess stopped herself before she said it.

'Yeah I know, listen I'm just going to say it, I want my job back Jess, I miss it, I miss you all, I've had a lot of time to think and this job is my life I need it.'

'Well, as much as I would like to take you back in a heartbeat we both know that's not my decision to make, I will talk to Vince though, I'm sure he would take you back, he always thought a lot of you.'

'I understand Jess, thanks, it means a lot to me.' Sighed Alicia, she knew it wouldn't be easy but a small part of her hoped she could just walk back in and carry on where she left off.

'Talk to you soon, ok babes. You take care......I missed you. Bye babes.' With that Jess hung up, leaving Alicia to stare at the phone once again, hoping everything would work out....


	2. Chapter 2

She did it. She convinced Vince to give her the job back, she had to promise it would never happen again, she wouldn't just walk away again. And she knew she wouldn't, she was stronger now. A lot changed since she left. She changed.

Alicia walked over to the mirror and took one last look, she always felt slightly frumpy compared to the divas, she was never fat just not toned enough, but her hard work at the gym paid off, she now had a body to rival even the best divas. Her long black hair that she once cherished was now cut into a sleek bob and dyed red, to symbolise the fiery nature she seemed to develop lately. She wore low slung red tartan trousers and a black crop top, with wedged black boots to finish off the look. She looked like a completely different person and felt like one too. Giving herself the once over she turned picked up her suitcase and shut the door on the flat she had been renting for the past 8 months, posting the keys back under once she locked it.

The one hour bus journey to the arena that Smackdown was being recorded at that night felt like the longest hour of her life. She was craving a cigarette to calm her nerves, her stomach doing flips, and her head feeling light.

Stepping off the bus into the bright sunlight made her squint, so she pulled the sunglasses off the top of her head down over her eyes. She walked over to a wall outside the arena and sat down. Pulling a cigarette out of the packet, she lit it and inhaled deeply leaning back to blow the smoke up into the air.

'Has anyone ever told you smoking is bad for you? Especially for a pretty young thing, such as yourself.' A voice came from beside her. She recognised it immediately and slowly turned to face the person it was coming from. It was Alvin.

'Has anyone ever told you that cheesy chat up lines get you nowhere? Especially with a pretty young thing, such as myself' She replied as she lowered her sunglasses, a smile forming on her lips.

'Oh my god! Li-Li? Is that you? Wow girl you're hot! I mean not that you weren't before but...oh you know what I mean!' Said Alvin as he got up to hug her. 'What are you doing back here, we thought we would never see you again!'

'Thought you could get rid of me that easily huh?' Laughed Alicia and she returned the hug of one of her dearest friends.

'Ha-ha, its just....I mean......Does he......know?' Asked Alvin, quite unsure of whether he should be asking but deciding to anyway.

'If by he you mean Jeff, then no he doesn't, no-one does. I felt like surprising you all! Ha-ha.' Said Alicia.

'Well it will certainly be that alright.' Said Alvin as he picked up her suitcase. 'Come on lets get you inside and set up for your first day back at work'


	3. Chapter 3

Stepping into the backstage of the arena Alicia felt calmer, with Alvin by her side carrying her suitcase she walked towards the room that was used as a make-up area last time she was in that arena. When they got to the door Alvin turned and looked at her.

'LiLi, I'm glad your back and everything but, are you sure your okay?' he sighed at the end of the sentence, because he knew things she didn't things that happened after she left things he didn't know if he should tell her or not.

'Al,' she replied cutting the silence 'I'm okay, I'm over it.'

With that she smiled at him, took her suitcase and went inside closing the door behind herself. Leaning back she breathed in deeply, not realising Alvin was doing exactly the same the other side of the door.

Once she got everything set up she sat back and looked around at the tools of her trade, it was great to be back but she had a niggling feeling deep down in her stomach. She was going to have to work on her. The woman that ruined it all for her, although that didn't mean she didn't blame Jeff, she did. But he was a bloke and she knew blokes only thought with on thing and it wasn't their brain. She leaned back and closed her eyes...

_'Hi, I'm Alicia, nice to meet you.' Alicia held out her hand._

_Michelle looked her up and down._

_'Well...Alicia,' she replied with a bitchy undertone 'Lets hope your make-up skills are better than your dress sense._

_Alicia felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, Michelle was one of her favourite divas, why was she talking to her like this?_

_'Excuse her,' came a southern drawl 'She is just a bit bitchy towards good looking women'. Jeff walked in from the hallway and leaned against the door frame looking Alicia up and down, a sexy smile forming on his lips._


	4. Chapter 4

A couple of hours had passed since Alicia had awoken from her dream. In that time she had freshened up and changed into her halter neck black dress with a red anchor on the skirt and red wedge sandals. Since she and Jeff split up she had started to take even more care of herself. She had a couple of flings, nothing serious ther was always something (or someone?) holding her back. She just longed to feel close to a man, wanted to feel desired.

She had also spoken to some of the superstars in that couple of hours, they had heard she was back and came in to see her, although they were all nice to her she felt they were keeping something from her. She swore they were looking at her with a pity in their eyes but she couldn't be sure.

She looked down at the list of jobs and froze.

No. 1 - Michelle McCool

Alicias hands started to shake, her heatbeat getting faster, it was time.


	5. Chapter 5

There she was, sat in the Alicia was mixing the foundations she looked up in the mirror at Michelle and saw something on her finger. NO. It couldn't be. It's only been 8 months, she leaned against the counter top to stop herself from falling. Michelle heard Alicia's legs thud against the table and lookec up, she followed Alicia's line of sight and her eyes also came to rest on her ring finger. A smile played on her lips.

'Didn't you hear Alicia?' she asked 'Me and Jeff got married, it was a very quick wedding, we just knew we were meant to be.'

'You...you bitch,' spat Alicia, her words filled with venom 'YOU FUCKING WHORE!' she screamed.

She wanted to punch her, to rip them fucking extensions out of her hair, but she restrained herself.

'Get out!' screamed Alicia.

Michelle went to speak.

'I said get the fuck out...NOW!' repeated Alicia shaking with anger.

Michelle slowly got out of her chair, smirking.

'You can scream all you like hunnie but it wont't change a thing, he is mine now. He wants me, not you, guess your not woman enought for him.' said Michelle and with that she turned and walked out of the door, leaving Alicia to slump on the floor and cry her eyes out.

_She was hanging out in the longue with some of the superstars after a recording of SmackDown. Her, Matt, Greg, Kofi, Ron and Jeff. Her and Jeff had grown quite close over the past few weeks but they wasn't quite together, still at the flirting stage. All the guys were talking about going to a club and Jeff turned to Alicia._

_'Do you wanna come with?' he asked 'I bet your a really good dancer and I would just love to see...'_

_Alicia felt herself blushing, looked up and Jeff and nodded._

_'Come on then.' he said as he held out his hand. She took it and he led her out the door with the others following._


	6. Chapter 6

_Walking into the club Alicia felt the beat pumping through her. SHe looked around and saw the looks she was getting from other girls because of the man on her arm, it made her smile and she gripped his hand tighter which caused him to look at her and smile...._

God she loved that smile, as much as she didn't want to admit it to herself she missed him, hadn't stopped thinking about him for the past 8 months. If she was completley honest with herself she changed for him, she wanted to come back and for him to realise what he lost. That wasn't going to happen now was it? She looked around the room and slowly getting up she looked in the mirror, mascara ran down her cheeks, she wiped it off and re-applied her make-up, her mask to cover the pain.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, making up divas and doing the odd bit of ab sculpting and fake tan on the guys. They all kept asking her what was wrong, even though they probaly knew. She just passed off the puffy eyes as hayfever and tiredness. They didn't believe her but didn't push for further details.

After clearing away Alicia realised she hadn't seen Jeff yet. Did he know she was here If he did, did he care? Probaly not, he had Michelle now.

_'Would you like a drink?' he asked leaning closer to her so she could hear him over the music. She felt his lips brush against her ear, it made her tingle._

_'Erm...just a water please.' she replied, she didn't want anything ruining this night, she wanted to remember every detail._

_Clutching her bottle of water they made their way to where everyone was sitting and Jeff sat next to her, squeezed in close his leg pressed against hers._

_'Listen, we need to talk.' he breathed huskily into her ear._

Someone clearing their throat behind her awoke her from her daydream. She spun around. It was him.

'Alicia, we need to talk.'


	7. Chapter 7

She looked into his eyes and her feelings came rushing back hitting her like a sledge-hammer. Her throat suddenly became very dry, she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

A smile played on Jeff's lips at this sight.

'How dare he?!' she thought, he was laughing at her, or so she thought when in reality it couldn't be further from the truth.

Alicia didn't invite him in, nor did he invite himself in, they just stood looking at eachother.

Jeff examined her features, she had changed a lot, but was still as gorgeous as ever. The red suited her, brought out the green of her eyes. His eyes travelled lower, down to her chest, her stomach, her waist, all the way down to her feet, he could feel himself getting hot.

'Well talk then.' Alicia said snapping him out of his trance.

He looked back up at her face, her beautiful lips downturned slightly, he noted that she had crossed her arms over her chest. This wasn't going to be easy.

'How you been?' Jeff began, he was cut short by Alicia.

'Save the politness Jeff, I'm not interested. In fact I have no interest in anything you have to say. I know you and Michelle are married and very happy, you sure moved on quick considering we were talking about marriage the week before you cheated on me.' S he paused for breath, tears forming in her eyes. 'You didn't even fight for us.' The last sentence was whispered, she lost her voice choking back the tears. With that she picked up her bag and walked past him, straight out of the door, up the hallway and outside.

Jeff watched her walk away, she didn't let him explain, not one word. He looked down at his wedding finger, there was no ring only a tightness in his chest, a pain of love lost. A tear slid down his cheek. He needed to make her listen. He needed her back.


	8. Chapter 8

Alicia got into her hotel room and threw herself onto the bed, sobbing. Why didn't she let him talk? She couldn't, she didn't want to hear how happy they were. That should have been her, her marrying him.

There was a knock at the door, Alicia didn't want to move, didn't want to talk. She stayed still and quiet, whoever it was sounded like they left.

Jeff sat down outside Alicia's room, he knew she was in there and he wasn't going to move until she came out however long that may be.

It was midnight and Alicia was laying on the bed with no more tears to cry. She must have been laying there for at least 2 hours. She sat up and looked around. Just as she was about to get up she heard someone cough and froze. It was coming from outside her room. Whoever knocked earlier was still there.

She got out of bed and crept over to the door, unlocking it. She opened it a jar and gasped. There lay Jeff curled up in a ball. He looked up and saw her. He got up and straightened out his clothes, brushed his hair off of his face and looked at her.

'Can we talk now?' he asked taking in her red, swollen eyes that she had got from crying. It hurt him to see that he had hurt her.

She stepped back and opened the door further motioning for him to come in.


	9. Chapter 9

Jeff tentativley stepped into the room, taking in the surroundings, he inhaled deeply, the room smelt of her, her sweet smell. He noticed her suitcase was open, and on top lay her underwear, she noticed where he was looking and quickly shut the case.

'Hey its not like I haven't seen it before. Although last time I recall it was discarded on the floor of my hotel room....' he trailed off with a glint in his eye.

Alicia shot him a look and he composed himself.

'Anyway, will you let me explain to you what happened? I want you to know' Jeff paused waiting for her signal to continue.

She looked at him and turned to walk out onto the balcony, grabbing her cigarettes as she walked past them. Once out there she lit one and leaned over the railings looking at the traffic below. Jeff followed her and took the cigarette from her, he took a long drag and inhaled the warm smoke, feeling it fill his lungs then handed it back to her.

'Go on then,' spoke Alicia 'Explain why you broke my heart.'

Jeff waitied for her to finish her cigarette and led her inside. He sat her down on the bed and pulled up a chair next to her. He sighed and then began...


	10. Chapter 10

'That night I was on such a high, the adrenline pumping through me. Well I wanted you there and then, but she was in my locker room. She kissed me and I didn't pull away because I liked it.'

Alicia went to get up and Jeff pulled her back down. He leant in closer to her, their faces centimetres apart.

'I like it because it reminded me of you, she tasted just like you. I wanted YOU and something just took over. I'm sorry. After you saw us, I shoved her away. I tried to come after you and she pulled me back, I shouted at her to get off me. Thats when I found you sitting in the car. When you were asleep did you know you were crying? Because you were and I decided there and then you were way to good for me. I hurt you and for that I will never forgive myself. So I carried you to your hotel room and left. Thats why you found me in the bar, I was telling Matt what a fuck up I was...'

Jeff paused for breath, searching Alicia's eyes for any sign of emotion, they were cold, lifeless even.

'When you walked out on me I wanted to die. I screwed up bad and I knew it. I got drunk every night, well one night Michelle found me and we slept together. I was off my head and we had the crazy idea of getting married in Las Vegas, it was more her idea I just went along with it. I thought she was all I deserved after what I done to you. I woke the next morning and regretted it instantly. Long story short, we divorced. I was craving you. I tried to find you, I looked everywhere. And then I realised you probaly didn't want to be found.' A tear formed in Jeffs eye and when it fell Alicia brushed it away, her features softening slightly.

'When I heard you was coming back, my heart caught in my throat.' He finished

Alicia started to cry too.

'You don't understand Jeff, you hurt me. Really hurt me. I thought you was the one. I...I just don't know.'

Jeff panicked.

'We can make this work Li, we really can.' Jeff spoke quickly now, scraed.

Alicia lightly kissed him on the lips and pulled away.

'Jeff....I don't want to fall in love with you again.'


	11. Chapter 11

Jeff stared at her.

He thought it would have hurt less if she had stabbed him in the heart.

It felt like she had ripped it out of his chest.

He tried to hold her hand and she pulled it away looking down to the ground, Alicia sighed.

'I just don't know if I can trust you again Jeff,' she whispered 'A leopard doesn't change its spots.'

'I will prove to you how much you mean to me Li, I'm not going to let this end, anything you want me to do I will.' Jeff spoke quickly not wanting Alicia to interrupt, to burst his bubble.

'Jeff, it has ended, its over,' Alicia sobbed 'Please go.'

He got up, feeling defeated and started to walk towards the door. He stopped just before he got to it and turned around. 'I will tell you again Li, this isn't over, we will be together, I promise you.'

He walked out of the door, down the hallway and to the lift. As he got in, his mind started to wander.

_'Is there somewhere quiet we can go to chat then?' asked Alicia with a smile on her face._

_'Yeah but first we gotta dance.' replied Jeff walking towards the floor._

_They were grinding together on the dancefloor, oblivious to the stares from strangers and their friends alike. So wrapped up in eachother. Both savouring each moment not wanting it to end. Jeff spun her around to face him._

_'There is something I have been waiting to do since the moment I met you.' moaned Jeff into Alicia's ear. And with that he cupped her face with his hands and kissed her, slow at first then getting very passionate, it seemed to last forever. When they pulled apart they knew that no chat was needed, this was it._

Alicia spent the rest of the night and most of the next day on the balcony, smoking cigarettes constantly, just thinking about him and what could have been. She kept coming back to one memory of him.

_They were laying in bed, just talking and kissing._

_'I would never ever hurt you Li, you know that don't you? Your my world.' he spoke._

_Alicia sighed, contented with that thought._

_And when he thought she was asleep he whispered something into her ear, the first time he said it._

_'I love you Li.'_

Alicia thought she had cried all her tears, it seemed though they were only just beginning....


	12. Chapter 12

It was 3pm, Jeff had walked out 13 hours ago yet the conversation felt just as raw as it did then. Alicia knew she had to get ready for work but she just couldn't summon the energy, she contemplated calling in sick, but then remembered Vince's warning.

'One screw up Alicia and your gone, I mean it.' were his exact words.

Slowly she got up and walked into the bathroom, she turned on the shower and got undressed. Standing under the hot water she tried to wash away this sadness she felt but it just wouldn't budge.

She couldn't even remember getting ready and going to work, the day just seemed to be passing in a daze. Making-up countless divas walking in and out of the room, she just went through the steps not really paying attention. They were trying to talk to her but all she could see was their lips moving, she couldn't hear the words, she didn't answer, so one by one they all gave up and just sat there in silence.

As the last one left the room, she went to sit down but a voice stopped her.

'Alicia, now WE need to talk.' It was Matt.

She didn't need this right now but she turned and faced him anyway.

'What Matt? I'm not really in the mood....' he stopped her.

'How dare you break my brother's heart like that Li. He loves you, why can't you see that? He was a mess when he came in this morning, he just gave the worst performance out there ever and now he is slumped in the locker room not talking to anyone....' Now it was Alicia's turn to interrupt Matt.

'Now hold up there a minute Matt, it was your saintly brother that broke my heart, did you get that? My heart! When he went off with that slapper, so don't you dare come in here, having a go at me! Why the hell should I take him back after that? Give me one good reason why, now.' She stood straight with her arms folded across her chest.

Matt slumped in the vacant chair and sighed 'He loves you LiLi, thats the only reason I have. He worships you, you should have seen him when you walked out, I didn't know what he was going to do, I was scared for him.'

'Well to be honest Matt, thats not good enough, if he loved me sooooo much then why did he do that with her? huh? You can't answer that so don't even try, have you finished your lecture now? If so please just leave me alone.'

Matt got up and walked over to Alicia. 'He loves you girl, nothing you say or do will change that so you might as well accept it and I know deep down you love him too. Give him another chance to prove himself, they way he has been acting since you walked out I can promise you he wouldn't be that stupid again, and if he was I would hit him.'

This made Alicia grin a little. 'There you go,' said Matt 'Thats the smile my brother fell in love with, I can see why. Just think about it LiLi promise me that.' And with that he turned and left.


	13. Chapter 13

Alicia knew what she had to do. She had to go find him. Matt made her realise that she did still love Jeff, so so much and the only reason she didn't want to fall in love again was because she was already in love, with him.

She cleared away her stuff, fingers shaking and unable to grip properly with nerves. What if he did take the hint the early hours of this morning and truly decide to leave her alone? That thought scared her more than anything else in the world.

She checked herself over in the mirror and then when she calmed herself down a bit, went to find Jeff. He was right this wasn't over, she was still in love.

Walking down the hallway, the old memories came flooding back for a second, the last time she done this she found something she didn't want to. It made her stop in her tracks. This was different now though and she continued walking towards his locker room. Once she arrived outside it she followed the noral routine, ruffle the hair, straighten the clothes and stand up straight. She knocked on the door.

Nothing.

She knocked again.

Nothing.

Just as she was about to walk away, she heard a muffled voice. 'Come in.'

This was it, she breathed in deeply and opened the door.

There sat Jeff on the sofa, head in his hands.

'Jeff.' She spoke softly

He jerked his head up and looked directly at her, his eyes staring deeply into hers, searching for a clue as to why she was there. She moved forward slightly and shut the door behind her. 'Can we talk?'

He looked at the space next to him as if to say sit down, still with a confused expression on his face.

She sat down next to him and slowly reached for his hand. He let her hold it, even if he was unsure as to what was going on.

'When I found you two together, it hurt me really bad. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I just wanted to run away. I loved you so much and couldn't believe what was happening, it was like someone had just sta...' Jeff interrupted her 'Stabbed you in the heart and twisted the knife. I know how that feels, when you said you didn't want me this morning thats how I felt, thats when I realised how much I had hurt you and it killed me inside.'

Alicia continued.

'I just wanted to rewind the clock, so it never happened,' Jeff nodded, he knew what she meant. 'I tortured myself for those months I was away, I kept thinking was I not pretty enough? Clever enough? Good enough to you? I changed my apperance, hoping when I did come back you would fall in love with me again and when you did I got scared, so so scared. And when I saw Michelle with that ring, I hated you, I hated you so much, I wanted to hurt you like you did me, mabye thats why I pushed you away.'

Jeff started to speak 'Michelle didn't care about me, she wanted a divorce just as much as me, she knew somehow you were back and she wanted to piss you off. Thats why she wore the ring. You were always enough for me baby, you were to good for me, mabye I thought it was too good to last so I thought I would ruin it then before I got too attatched. I don't know. All I know was I was stupid and I hated myself for it. I love you, I never want to hurt you.'

'I love you but I'm just scared now, I'm finding hard to trust you.' Alicia sighed.

'I can understand that, I really can and anything I can do to make you trust me I will. Please just give me another chance, please.' Jeff croaked.

'Lets just take things slowly and see where they lead okay? Start from the beginning, dating. And I can hopefully re-build my trust in you.' replied Alicia.

Jeff lifted his head and smiled 'I would like that more than you will ever know.'

They smiled at eachother, unsure of what the future held for them but they knew one thing, that they loved eachother and they would make this work....


End file.
